Pharoah Bolding and Nickolas Lotze


Pharoah Bolding

Attain to Innocence
By Nickolas Lotze

Inspiration piece

Wounded’ness becomes an idea turned vehicular

traveling through darkly lit tunnels expanse;

wounded romantics rushed stage left

exit by blaring ambulance;

not for sakes of discernment,

but a second chance.


Viewed through hospital doors automatic,

residence in the emergency room refusing treatment;

expectations rise no higher than traumatic,

and the views kept obscured by misinformed consent;

tragedies often sit opposite the pragmatic.


Flashing lights in the night mix

with feelings deflated by a grieving process,

with fingers crossed behind our back in regards to

something resembling a plan to find a fix,

trying to separate the dead excess

from what’s left intact of your wholeness,

and what can be written off as expendable losses.


Time will always sacrice parts of itself,

in the interest of pleasing particular part

of ourselves ’ll keep us from taking risk;

offer refrain to recover;

satisfied with everything it lacks

and with its inert ability to see reason.


A method seems to be strategic in

ever meeting the half a person of you ’s left;

realization you’re half of what you began with,

and these are simply facts enforcing our gullibility

in so much hopes are the same as unreasonable expectations

and in this crooked state of mind we’re hoping to find

a tangibility representing a better present,

able to exist far into our future serving as a distraction.


And so we wrap ourselves up with tragedy

and this becomes an adaptive strategy

serving as a wall to keep everyone at arm’s length

and only stokes our issues with abandonment,

the what ’s, pain and other irks

stale accomplishment.


The real trauma becomes the sum

of all of our assumptions;

shattered laid with us on the floor,

alongside innocence in the trust lost we’ll never get back,

betrayal has forced us across a line in sordid affinity,

feeling the same way when a young person is robbed of virginity.


But it’s in colossal betrayal

we gain the awareness

and understanding of what was once compromised

wasn’t measured in terms of infinity

and we’re shown we have the ability

to transcend into a type of secondary purity.


I suppose the only question left

is when will you attain to innocence?




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