Jay Young Gerard
“Contusa”
Inspiration piece
I Felt Something, For A Minute
By Lisa Nielsen
Response
Me half smiling, layering out my scars like pinafores,
You leave your fingerprints on me. Go ahead,
let the world think I am being held hostage
Meandering from table to table, many shots of bourbon in
gaiety on full blast –
You’re here to celebrate the prize
Is this better than being a rapturous side piece?
Getting to mingle and nod at those appreciative glances,
Half smile again, let them guess
This will never be a bloodletting of my soul, it’s not that,
it’s not anything so dramatic, this is a trickle down to-do,
brooding though I may be, I feel safer here than the streets,
with just enough adoration and resentment
Once upon a time I was an elongated grin for picture day,
wearing that magenta pantsuit with the chiffon collar,
I could have felt glamorous, but that wasn’t your way
Hairbrush to my face when I wouldn’t sit still,
still hoping that today would be different
Memory makes its grand entrance again,
whispering “ready or not”.
I tried so hard to get you love me
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