Gred Adkins and Jim Tretick

By Greg Adkins


Who knew? Who could have ever known that my life would take this sort of turn?

She was cute.. outstandingly so. I remember that I started going to the bakery more often just to catch a glimpse of her. I would linger when she was waiting on me because I didn’t want it to end. I would tell the silly jokes I knew just to get her to laugh and I utterly adored that laugh. It was light and airy and danced across my ears and heart. I remember that I always wanted to ask her out, but really couldn’t ever bring myself to do it. She was cute and this bakery was popular, so I’m sure she got hit on a lot. As a result, I figured she would probably just smile, thank me, and feign some excuse as to why she couldn’t go out.

So imagine my surprise when she actually asked me one day.

I was taken aback and couldn’t quite believe my incredible stroke of luck. Here was this beautiful, intelligent, playful woman asking me out. I smiled and played with her a bit. I’m not sure if I was free… Did I already have plans that day? Maybe she’s just flattering me in order to make a bigger sale on the day old cupcakes? Again, that laugh.. such a wonderful sensation. Of course she wanted to go out with me and I was silly to think otherwise. If I did have plans that day, maybe we could go out a different day, or maybe I should just cancel those plans since she was probably more fun anyways (and how sexy is confidence, no?). And for the record.. I was welcome to as many day-olds as I wanted at absolutely no charge. Funny that. So looks like she’s being sincere. She actually wants to go out. She’s flirting with me too. Twisting her hair, lightly touching my arm as I rest against the counter. I still can’t believe my luck in all of this.

Looking right into her eyes, I tell her that I would absolutely love to go out with her and think that any time I can get to just look at her beauty would be amazing. She laughed and told me I was pretty easy on the eyes too and she’d been wanting to go out with me for some time and just didn’t quite have the nerve to do it. However, she finally just realized that life requires taking chances and she just couldn’t sit on the sidelines forever. She had to make her move. And besides, she had just recently broken up with her girlfriend and was tired of sitting at home pitying herself. She knew she was pretty and smart and, honestly, was a “good catch” as it were. So why shouldn’t she get back out there?

I agreed and told her that she was right.. she did seem like a good catch and she really should get back out there and just enjoy her life. If I were in her position, I’d do the exact same thing. I wouldn’t sit at home and just mourn the loss of a relationship, I’d be out there enjoying my new-found freedom. She agreed and we playfully exchanged a high-five. I just couldn’t help but feel so alive and so wonderful at that moment, but there was still the slight matter of her offer and I needed to let her know.

I told her I would love to go out with her… but my husband would object. We had been together for 15 years and I wasn’t willing to risk the marriage to go out with such a lovely creature. And besides, he didn’t know that I was a lesbian. I was very sorry and hoped she could understand. She smiled back, understood completely, and told me that the offer was open and, of course, the day-olds would always be free for me. I thanked her and decided to make a quick exit as the bakery was getting busy and I had to get home.

Driving home, I kept thinking about the situation. I kept thinking about how much I really wanted to go out with her. Why was I doing this to myself? My husband was a great man, a very upstanding man, and he cared for me and our children greatly, but it didn’t fit. It hadn’t fit even when we first met, but I decided to simply push and assumed that things would change with time and patience. I grew to love him, or at least the idea of what he was supposed to represent… but it was still an ill-fitting situation. No matter how hard I tried, it always felt like I was out of synch with the world around me. I grew more and more frustrated as I drove home. Not at him, of course, but simply at myself. I had made this choice and was trying to live with the consequences of that action. But why? Why was this still necessary? I’d done my duty to society and it was about time that I finally took care of the one person I’d pushed off for so long.

I opened the door to our home and he was on the couch, watching TV. I sat down, offered him a cupcake, and told him that we needed to talk…