Amy Souza and Amanda Miska

Amy Souza
“Ray of Hope/Desire”
Ink and pencil on paint chip, with mixed media collage

Jacob’s Daughter
By Amanda Miska
Inspiration piece

In high school, my husband was a wrestler.

It still makes me laugh to think of the spandex suits.

Last night, curled into bed, I asked him:

What makes you good at wrestling?

I was doing some research, trying to understand the often-heard phrase

wrestling with God.

He said:

You can be quick or

you can be strong.

But stronger is harder

because of the weight class.

They wrestle people their own size.

We do not.

We all know God is bigger, and stronger, and smarter, and more powerful.

Why wrestle when loss is guaranteed?


It makes more sense to be an atheist.

But I’ve never been logical:

Anyone can tell you that.

It would be easier to believe in nothing.

But something gnaws–

unfinished business or

an open door ahead?

Happier than I’ve ever been, but still

not satisfied.


I’ve climbed through a lot of broken windows.

I can show you the scars

if you don’t believe me.

We grew up being told

If it’s easy, it’s wrong…right?

We grew up being told

God laughs at your plans…but what kind of laugh is it?

A guffaw?

A giggle?

A howl?

A snort?

A silent shake of shoulders?


To live is to want.

I think that’s Buddhist wisdom, but really,

it’s Everyone wisdom.

Desire is just another word for faith,

For wanting something more than what is here,

something more than who you are

right now.



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