Pharoah Bolding
Response
Attain to Innocence
By Nickolas Lotze
Inspiration piece
Wounded’ness becomes an idea turned vehicular
traveling through darkly lit tunnels expanse;
wounded romantics rushed stage left
exit by blaring ambulance;
not for sakes of discernment,
but a second chance.
Viewed through hospital doors automatic,
residence in the emergency room refusing treatment;
expectations rise no higher than traumatic,
and the views kept obscured by misinformed consent;
tragedies often sit opposite the pragmatic.
Flashing lights in the night mix
with feelings deflated by a grieving process,
with fingers crossed behind our back in regards to
something resembling a plan to find a fix,
trying to separate the dead excess
from what’s left intact of your wholeness,
and what can be written off as expendable losses.
Time will always sacrice parts of itself,
in the interest of pleasing particular part
of ourselves ’ll keep us from taking risk;
offer refrain to recover;
satisfied with everything it lacks
and with its inert ability to see reason.
A method seems to be strategic in
ever meeting the half a person of you ’s left;
realization you’re half of what you began with,
and these are simply facts enforcing our gullibility
in so much hopes are the same as unreasonable expectations
and in this crooked state of mind we’re hoping to find
a tangibility representing a better present,
able to exist far into our future serving as a distraction.
And so we wrap ourselves up with tragedy
and this becomes an adaptive strategy
serving as a wall to keep everyone at arm’s length
and only stokes our issues with abandonment,
the what ’s, pain and other irks
stale accomplishment.
The real trauma becomes the sum
of all of our assumptions;
shattered laid with us on the floor,
alongside innocence in the trust lost we’ll never get back,
betrayal has forced us across a line in sordid affinity,
feeling the same way when a young person is robbed of virginity.
But it’s in colossal betrayal
we gain the awareness
and understanding of what was once compromised
wasn’t measured in terms of infinity
and we’re shown we have the ability
to transcend into a type of secondary purity.
I suppose the only question left
is when will you attain to innocence?
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