Sarah Pizer-Bush
“Something Swirling Within”
Response
44 Falls to Rapture
By Darice Jones
Inspiration iece
422 Falls To Rapture
Eight times a year since the day she was born
Something within would swirl furiously
like a twister in her core
destabilizing,
off-putting,
and she would stumble like a boozehound in a grimy parking lot, after a night of rebel rousing
inevitably
unfailingly miserable
and dizzied by life’s inside joke
she would fall
It took decades for her to see the pattern
and stop experiencing these moments as isolated curses
where some important aspect of herself was lain bare without her consent
and she was left vulnerable
feeling her inner seed exposed
before having a chance to germinate
before having a chance to grow into its uniqueness
before fully becoming
Eeli had thought it was so unfair
She had believed that she was alone
Eeli had wondered whether life had meaning
She had called out into the valley and heard only her own distant echo in return
But in this 4 th decade of her life, she’d been shedding her sadness and even disdain for the incessant falls
Being exposed, she realized, for all its aching tenderness was really what gave life meaning – to be seen as seed, and sapling, and strong root, and fully aged
To be loved and even despised right there, as yourself
Knowing it is the you of it all that has inspired such passion
And it wasn’t just being seen
but cultivating the ways of holding others,
of seeing them in all their stages
Of offering the respect of a passionate yes or no
Leaving not even a tiny bit of a potential exchange unrealized
These days Eeli expected and even welcomed the fall
She could feel each torrent, and stumble, and drop, and exposure, and reseeding, and growth as a blessing
Leading her steadily closer
To bliss.
By Darice Marcella Jones
In the year of Octavia Butler ©2022
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